Running a Business and Raising a Family: Tips and Tricks to Make it Work
I was recently interviewed for the Journal of College Admission about my experiences as a successful working mom in the college admissions world. I genuinely do believe that the right systems can make working parenthood pretty manageable, and I’m excited to share what has worked for my family. I find that educational consultants have a particularly difficult time managing work and home responsibilities because our busiest work hours are when our children aren’t in school! No heading out of the office at 4:00 p.m. here!
My single best tip: it’s okay to prioritize your work obligations over your parental obligations sometimes. They will live. I promise.
I know that sounds harsh - I really do. But stick with me for a minute. What would happen if you were paying an expensive [attorney, accountant, doctor, dentist.. you name it] and she constantly canceled because of kid stuff?
Remember: you’re providing a very expensive service to people that count on you. If you are constantly canceling because your kid called home from the school nurse with a hangnail and needs to be picked up (or is that just my kid? #wishiwaskidding #dramaqueen), they can’t count on you anymore. I suppose there are other jobs where you can get away with being flaky and unreliable, but this is NOT one of them.
How do I manage that? I have to admit that I stole this from another working mom:
TIP #2: If you’re constantly on the brink of things falling apart, or just barely making it work, there is no way you’ll be able to survive when the inevitable crises occur. Your baseline cannot be chaotic.
It’s really true, if you think about it. You need to make things as easy as possible for yourself so that you are equipped to deal with the problems that come up on a daily basis.
In the spirit of not mommy-tracking myself, I pay an absolute fortune to have multiple layers of childcare coverage from 7 am - 8:30 pm each night, all year long. What does this mean, exactly? Despite the fact that we have a full-time caregiver, we also pay for full-time preschool/camp/after-care coverage for both of them between 7:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. each weekday. Do we use it for eleven hours each day? No, I don’t actually think we ever have. But if we need it, we have it. When my kids are sick, they can stay home with their au pair. When our au pair is on vacation, they can go to school or camp.
Admittedly, there are less expensive ways to have backup childcare. But you DO need a plan that will work when you need it.
Here’s the rest of my tips for achieving your best possible work-life balance:
Outsource EVERYTHING. Think about your time as a valuable commodity. If someone else can take on a task, let them. Don’t be afraid to delegate. I struggle sooo much with delegation but I force myself to do it.
Come up with non-negotiables and stick to them. For me, it’s weekend meetings. I will not do them. Around year #6 I cracked on this and it was terrible. I barely see my kids during the week but I am present on weekends. Fortunately, one of my essay coaches likes to work on weekends so we are still able to offer weekend hours.
Learn to love routine. I have to credit my husband for this one, but he’s really big on routine and he’s right. Everything in life is easier when you can minimize last-minute curveballs as much as possible. Figure out which systems you need to put in place and make it happen.
Don’t listen to the haters. Yes, you’re going to screw up kid stuff sometimes and yes, there will be people who judge you. Don’t let it get you down. They’re just jealous, honestly. And your kid is not going to die if she’s not wearing a pink shirt on pink shirt day because you forgot one time. You are setting such an amazing example for your kids. EMBRACE IT!
SAY NO. N-O. And don’t second-guess yourself! Take on what you can and NO more. I did not breastfeed my son at all and I did not feel bad about it for a minute. There was no way I could run a business while waking up all night pumping and all of that. NOPE.
Embrace the flexibility that exists. Yes, my job is inflexible when I have meetings scheduled, but it’s SUPER flexible when I don’t. And I am 100% in control of my own calendar. I can build in time to volunteer at my kids’ schools, time to go to special events, time to basically do whatever I want. That’s pretty awesome!
Make sure your kids are in phenomenal hands when you can’t be there. One of the reasons I don’t feel that guilty about my lack of presence on weekdays is because my kids have great caregivers. We have fantastic au pairs and they have wonderful schools. My daughter went to really amazing camps all summer long. It’s because that I work that she gets to have such cool opportunities.
WANT TO ADOPT MY ROUTINE AS YOUR OWN?
Spend 20 minutes going through my amazing caregiver template and adjusting it to fit your specific situation. Print 100 copies and leave them in your office. Every night, pick out the correct day’s template and spend 5 minutes writing in anything unusual for the following day. DONE!
Pick up yours today for less than you’ll spend on lattes this week!